The World According to...

I've learned many things, mostly from television, movies, and video games. But that counts... right?

Posts tagged Lord of the Rings

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captainamerica-in-the-impala:

timespaceprincess:

inksplotched:

terecita:

thatswhenyouseesparks:

Still my favorite story from the Lord of the Rings set: Viggo Mortensen bonded so much with the horse he rode in the movies that after filming was over he bought it from its owner. If that doesn’t warm your heart I don’t know what could.

don’t forget that he also bought arwen’s horse for her stunt rider when she couldn’t afford it awww

#also don’t forget that for the rohirrim they put a call out for locals #bring a horse show us you can ride it and get a part in the battle scenes #and one women went out roped a wild horse and rode for a few days to set #and got to be a rider of rohan

also sort of relevant viggo also bought the horse that costarred with him in the movie hidalgo and subsequently took the horse (tj) with him to the red carpet premier. 

It wasn’t Arwen’s horse, it was one of the horses that played Shadowfax, Gandalf’s horse, and he bought it for its trainer not the stunt rider, because she couldn’t afford it.

captainamerica-in-the-impala:

timespaceprincess:

inksplotched:

terecita:

thatswhenyouseesparks:

Still my favorite story from the Lord of the Rings set: Viggo Mortensen bonded so much with the horse he rode in the movies that after filming was over he bought it from its owner. If that doesn’t warm your heart I don’t know what could.

don’t forget that he also bought arwen’s horse for her stunt rider when she couldn’t afford it awww

#also don’t forget that for the rohirrim they put a call out for locals #bring a horse show us you can ride it and get a part in the battle scenes #and one women went out roped a wild horse and rode for a few days to set #and got to be a rider of rohan

also sort of relevant viggo also bought the horse that costarred with him in the movie hidalgo and subsequently took the horse (tj) with him to the red carpet premier. 

It wasn’t Arwen’s horse, it was one of the horses that played Shadowfax, Gandalf’s horse, and he bought it for its trainer not the stunt rider, because she couldn’t afford it.

(via witchmulder)

Filed under viggo mortensen lotr lord of the rings

2 notes

You, Quite Frankly My Dear, Are A Succubus

You are a mental myriad of monsters

You are a cantankerous cornucopia of creatures.

You are a psychotic plethora of the paranormal.

You, quite frankly my dear, are a succubus.

You are a hostile hotheaded harlot,

You are a senseless strumpet,

You are an exasperating escort.

You are an irate tramp.

You, quite frankly my dear, are a succubus.

You are a man-eater, a siren, a killer.

You are as attractive as a banshee.

You are as kind as a harpie.

You play with men like a child plays with toys.

Emotions to you are like water to sodium. 

You use your famine wiles, and men fall for it.

You are worse than Helen of Troy,

and she started a war.

You, quite frankly my dear, are a succubus.

You find men and eat out their souls.

Since you are what you eat, you can’t be soulless,

but you are.

You are as blood sucking as a leech.

You are as cuddly as a rabid porcupine.

I rather kiss a Dementor,

I rather hug a blast-ended scrout.

I would walk into Mordor to get away from you.

I would eat batha poodoo if it made you leave me alone.

I’d stand in a room full of Vashta Nerada to get away from you.

To me you smell like spoiled eggs.

You, quite frankly my dear, are a succubus.

They should burn you at the stake,

you are a witch.

Well… it rhymes with witch and is a female dog.

I’m calling you a bitch if you weren’t sure.

You are easier than breathing.

On my birthday I wished for you to get cankers,

and boils, and pimples, and hemorrhoids, 

and a benign tumor or two.

You are better at gold digging than a prospector.

You, quite frankly my dear, are a succubus.

They say kissing burns 5 calories per minute,

no wonder you are so skinny.

Do you get bed sores?

You are on your back so much.

I hope you fall deeply in love with a man,

and then he breaks your heart,

then you’ll know how the game feels.

You make me feel sick, I just want to vomit.

You, quite frankly my dear, are a succubus.

I loath more than Voldemort loathes mudbloods.

If I was given one wish, I’d wish for you to not be alive,

not dead, just non-existent, like you never happen.

So that way I wouldn’t know your harlotry.

If given a choice between you and death,

I’d choose death, every time.

If I could I’d stop the world,

and make sure that you are on the sun facing side.

Then you’d know how much pain you caused me.

If I could I’d buy you everything you ever wanted,

and then give it to people you hate.

Maybe you’d appreciate people then,

but it’s you, so probably not.

You, quite frankly my dear, are a succubus.

I wish you the best,

may all your endeavors into stumpetry pay off,

I guess you need to pay for school somehow.

So in closing, you broke my heart,

you tore it out, your ripped it up,

you stomped on it, you lit it on fire,

and then you gave it back.

Somethings can’t be fixed.

You, quite frankly my dear, are a succubus

Filed under poetry literature love breaking up Harry Potter Star Wars Lord of the Rings Docter Who big words are cool I used succubus harlot siren banshee and strumpet lol I nevered used whore though I should of

2 notes

Women: rather Perplexing, Rather Confusing, Rather Wonderful Creatures

Women,
what can I say about women?
A lot, but it’s rather rude.
women, women, women,
is any greater weakness for man?
No.
Women,
this is where the exasperated sigh comes in.
Women, women, women,
what can I say about women?
I don’t understand them.
Do they like assholes or nice guys?
Do they like bad-boys or poster-boys?
Nerds or jocks? rich or poor?
Flowers or chocolate? 
Should I be a gentleman or not?
They seem to keep singles crossed.
Lines of communication blurred,
what language do they speak?
cause it’s not found on Earth.
Klingon? Twi’lick? High Gallifrian?
I just don’t understand.
21 years and I don’t understand!
Do they offer classes in girl-talk?
Is that what they do in Women’s Studies?
Women, women, women,
is there any greater creature?
No.
I don’t know what to say about women,
really, the first time I’m ever speechless.
It’s like a confundius charm has hit my brain,
and turned it all gobbledygook with women.
I wonder what it’s like to understand them.
Greatest mystery there is.
I must admit, I do lack in wooing them so.
One doesn’t just court a lady now-a-days,
and there is always the possibility of the f-word,
on a terrible word that sends shivers when muttered. 
F-R-I-E-N-D, the FZ is no place to be.
So a girl I’m nice I’m just a friend,
a guy is a dick, she marries him.
Women, women, women,
will I ever understand them?
No.
Do I want to? Yes.
I just will never ever understand,
maybe I’m just destined to stay single forever.
Oh God, that’ll suck, I’m dreading what my mom will say.
"Tim, why are you single? Are you gay?"
"No mom, women are just to complicated to worry about marriage."
"Maybe, you just aren’t smart enough to understand us."
"Albert Einstein didn’t understand women, so I won’t try."
Women, women, women,
why must they torment me so?
Because a good woman is worth all the trouble, they say.
But I’ve come to my own conclusion, and it’s rather rude.
Ladies reading this, I’m sorry, but I feel it true,
Women are bitches,
9 years of liking them has taught me that,
I think women collect balls,
they seem to be willing to rip my off.
But for as much as I complain about them,
I must admit, I’d hate to be without them.
Who else would I gawk at?
But seriously I’ll end on an upbeat mood,
man with out woman is a woeful man.
Men need women like, Gollum needed the Ring.
Perhaps one day I’ll understand them,
but I highly doubt it.

Filed under literature poetry men women love life annoyed Lord of the Rings Star Wars Star Trek Harry Potter women are so confusing how do men stay in relationships? I will never ever ever ever understand women perhaps miss right is out there somewhere probably not though all well at least I got Tumblr! if you see this tell me what you think about this poem